Thursday, April 12, 2012

A tip on commenting

 Hello 304! You are doing a good job getting your comments in, but remember that you are getting participation grades for what you submit. Some of you are going to lose points because your comments are very bland. I need you to be specific to help out your classmates on how to fix their essays. For example, don't just say, "Couple of spelling/grammar mistakes, but good essay." Tell them what the specific mistakes are! I appreciate those of you that are being honest and offering up some good criticism. Don't be afraid to say what you didn't like about an essay, but remember to not be negative or insulting and always mention at least one good thing about somebody's writing.

Hope you are all enjoying your break and I will see you soon. Remember...be specific!

Ms. Campbell

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Narrative Essay Number Fifteen

I) The time I went to Mexico.
A: I was so excited
B: This was the first time I will be going to Mexico

II) The three hours and thirty minutes flight were not bad I played on my mom's ipad.
A: We had to leave at 4:30 a.m.
B: I was so tired I fell asleep in the car and 1 hour on the plane.
C: The flight attendant gave me an energy drink so I was up for a while

III) When I first saw Mexico I was amazed it was really hot and  I saw many stray animals.
A) I saw kids and adults playing soccer
B) Their were many people in Mexico

IV) The hotel was so cool and big but I just decided to go to the beach with my brother.
A) The water was crystal clear.
B) My brother and I rented jet skis and raced them it was so much fun.
C) After ward my family and I went to a restaurant that tasted amazing!
D) They even had a mariachi band performing there.

V) That was the best summer vacation ever!

Narrative Essay Number Fourteen

I. The Day I turned 13.
II. I woke up and called a friend at 11:30 and he came to my house so we could play video games. Then later that day we went to see The Lorax movie. It was really good too. But really, Zach Efron is a loser! But it was good nonetheless.
III. On the way home we went to Wal-Mart. In which I got candy. Epic candy like gum and Mike and Ike's.
IV. Earlier that week I went to Key Lime Cove with my friend and My Family. It was great swimming with my niece and nephew in the water. They we went to Rainforest Cafe and chilled out in the mall.
V. But when I think about it, there was nothing really swell about it. I mean it was fun but I lost my voice and chewed more gum. So when you think about inhaling the air in the pool room think twice or you'll lose your voice.

Narrative Essay Number Thirteen

          Have you ever pet a dolphin? Or had a dolpin splash water on you? This is a story all about the time that I fed and pet a dolphin.
          We were at Sea World in San Antonio, Texas. We were in San Antonio because I had a national competition for tumbling. I came in 5th place throughout the whole country. We were in Texas for a week.
          While we were feeding the dolphins, one dolphin came and splashed water all over me. The dolphin was black and I think had a scar on him. He must've thought that I wasn't going to give him a fish, but I was. He just put his head under the water and yanked it up making water splash all over me. My brother and sister were laughing.
         We fed the dolphins fish. When you bought the fish they came in little trays. They came with about 6 fish. I bought two trays of fish for the dolphins.
         Petting and feeding a dolphin was really fun. I will remember this experience for a long time. I would definitely want to do this again.

Narrative Essay Number Twelve

          Have you ever wondered how it feels to travel the seas surface? How about what it's like to travel around the world searching for treasure? Well I have done both of these things and even though it was dangerous it was also very exciting. It also helped me learn that some things aren't worth dying for.

          First there was Black Beard and his crew. They started following us after we took a key from their last ship wreck, which disturbed their final resting place. At first we thought they were a cargo ship but when they got closer we realized they were dead. Also when they got closer they started firing at us with their cannon. So we started firing back but out cannon balls did no harm to their ship so we tried to outrun them. We couldn't lose them though so we landed on a nearby island and tried to fight them there. They were much stronger than us though and over took and captured us, but they still took our submarine wtih.

          After we were on their ship they forced us to take them to the treasure but on the way we were attacked by a giant squid. It wrapped its arms around the hull of the ship and attempted to sink us, but Black Beard and his crew defended the ship by cutting off three of the squid's arms. After that we had been travelling for about 2-3 weeks in peace until we neared the shipwreck where the treasure lay and a whale the size of five double decker buses attacked. Black Beard through spear after spear the the whale until it finally left us alone.

          So we took our submarine down to get the treasure from the sunken ship but instead we found an old wet map. Even though most of the writing was faded we could still tell what was written. It said to go to an old island located off of the coast of Spain. When we got there we had to trek across the deep jungle to the center of the island. There were heaps of gold and jewels everywhere. There Black Beard and his crew went to take the treasure for themselves but as soon as they touched it a gaping hole opened underneath them and they fell to their deaths again.

So throughout and after this entire ordeal I realized that some things you just can't have. The things you can have though sometimes just aren't worth dying for. I have also discovered that even though travelling the world can be fun and exciting it can also be deadly and dangerous.rough

Narrative Essay Number Eleven

          Have you ever gone to a boarding school in another continent? Well Jane and her twin brother Ike have, in the middle of the year! Once they get there it's not what you expect. I mean do you want an evil spirit stalking you everywhere you go? Well Jane certainly doesn't. In fact she is scared of her brother when he sneaks up behind her, and thought a ghost stalking you was bad how about being related to King Tutankhamen!

          Ike and Jane are twin brother and sister and they go to a boarding school in Britain. They find that they are relative of King Tutankhamen the ancient Egyptian Pharaoh. Jane and Ike find an old lady wandering. The old lady's eyes turn red like she was possessed and the she screamed " run away before she gets you chosen one" Jane follows her and the old lady says "protect with your life or she'll tak yours" and in her wand was an amulet that looked extremely worn out and old. They lady says "in my last few moments on this earth I need to give you this "and her hand was a map. Then out of nowhere this spirit came and went through the old lady which killed her. The spirit says" you better watch it or you'll be next."

          Jane is so called the chose one. Jane and only Jane has the power to kill this spirit. She can do so by putting on the Mask of Anubis, which she has to find. Jane looks at the map and figures out that there is a secret passage way at the basement. Jane has to go through secret tunnels and traps to get to the mask. She has to face all her fears to get to the mask. Once she finds the mask she realizes it's not the real mask and it is counterfeit but the counterfeit is the key to get to the real mask. Jane has to go through the choice of choosing her family or the mask. Jane chooses the mask because she realizes that it all a trick by the evil spirit.

          Jane puts on the Mask of Anubis and she realizes that she not the chosen one after all. Ike comes down the sitars and says "I know you're not the chosen one I am." Ike puts on the mask which then kills the evil spirit. Ike falls to his knees. Jane goes to him and gives him a hug says "you did it!" Then she realizes Ike is dead. Ike sacrificed himself to kill the spirit. All of a sudden she hears Ike's voice behind her. The Jane screams "Ike where are you!" Ike's says I will always be by your side from now on. Jane fly's home to America, and tells what to Ike to her parents and all her dad said was "I knew this day would come."

          Jane and Ike are a part of an ancient Egyptian family. Jane is the so called chosen one who can save the world from an evil spirit. Jane is supposed to kill this spirit with the Mask of Anubis which she found. Jane figures out that the mask doesn't work on her then Ike went and grabbed the mask and sacrificed himself to save his sister from being haunted from an evil spirit. Jane goes home and her parents were expecting this to happen.

Narrative Essay Number Ten

         Do you remember the first time you ever saw a concert? Well my first concert was very exciting for me, my family and friends.
          I went with my mom, my little sister and my cousin and my friends. We were all just hanging out around at Six Flags Great America, having fun and riding rides. Then we found out that Mike Posner was there for a concert.
          My friend's mom met us at the entrance with tickets to see him. It looked like it was going to rain. By the time we were by the entrance it started to drizzle. By the time everyone was in their seats it started to pour.
          When the music started and no one could hear rain from all the loud music. The music was so loud it probably could be heard from outside! There was a guest star named Miguel we didn't really like him that much except for my mom.
         Finally, Mike Posner came out and we loved it. We sang along with every song with every song that he sang. Our favorite song that he sang was "Cooler than me". While we were all singing and dancing my little sister fell asleep. After the concert we went outside and even though the rain stopped everything was wet (including my sister's stroller).
          My first concert was really fun because my friends and family were there with me.

Narrative Essay Number Nine

          Hey you, yea you! Have you ever been to Florida...or gone to Florida in a car, from Chicago? Well if you have not let me tell you my experience at Florida and going to Florida.

          Well, as I have already told you I got their in a car, more like a van...because half of my soccer team and I wher going to a soccer tournament for 5 days!

The ride to Florida wasn't all that bad, well except for the fact that we stayed almost a full day in that car, and only had about 3 pit stops!

          The tournament ended pretty well, our team got second place, and ranked up to 3rd in the country!

          So that about sums up my stay at Florida, I loved the weather, I loved the reson I went to Florida, and I also loved the people I stayed with! So I guess I could say I love Florida.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Narrative Essay Number Eight

Have you ever been in the middle of the ocean on a cruise ship, where you have seen fireworks? Or have you been swimming with a chance of being eaten? Well I have, and this is how it happened!

          It all started when I was waiting in line to get my Disney Dream Cruise pass to show I paid. It seemed for what took hours because I was so excited. I finally got my pass and had to wait in another line to take a family photo. We were next, standing in front of the camera. We all smiled but my brother. He smiled the retry of the photo, but half my family's eyes were closed. Finally on the last retake it was a perfect picture that deserved to be hung up on the wall. As we walked away from the picture stand we were walking on the gangplank to board the ship. I was really excited because it was my first cruise every being on. What I saw on this ship, made my dreams come true. It was everything I wanted; a pool area with a slide that went around the whole ship and out of the water. I took a tour also of the bottom of the ship, but it was nothing but cabins. My cabin had 3 beds, one for me, one for my brother, and one for my parents. The cabin its self was nothing spectacular. It didn't even have a porthole.

          Even though my cabin wasn't impressive, that was okay because I didn't stay in it too much, considering all the great things to do there. The first thing I did was go to the all you can eat buffet and at some crab. It was delicious. My brother and I were one of the first people to go on the slide that went around the ship. It was awesome because it went out over the ocean and there was some dark areas in the tube and it produced a laser show. Every night I would go see a Disney play or go see a comedian with the dummies. It was quite amusing and entertaining. On my last day was amazing because I saw fireworks being shot off on the deck on the Disney Dreams Cruise ship's deck. I never thought it was possible to do that, but it proved me wrong.

          Besides the activities on the boat, I went to two places, Castawy Key, and island owned by Disney, and the Bahamas. What I did at castaway key was go swimming in water that had a possible risk of having sharks, barracudas, jellyfish, and eels. That didn't stop me though. I rented a tube and just floated along in the ocean minding my own business and being relaxed, until my brother comes unexpectedly and slips me off the tube. It was refreshing the water. My uncle rented me snorkeling gear and I snorkeled with the fish by myself. I never thought fish can be so colorful. My next trip was the Bahamas, which I went Jet skiing in the Atlantic. Dad and I went, and he knows I am not afraid to fall off so he tried to fling me off by doing a lot of tricks with the Jet Ski a mile out. I was nervous because I didn't want to fall so I held on for dear life. I was afraid that a shark or something would eat me if I fell out. After that I swam in the shallow part of the ocean with my brother and cousin. We played with the waves allowing it to drag us out and bringing us back to the ocean. The water was crystal clear.

          Who knew that your first cruise would be so much fun and exciting? Well I did and I guessed right. It was one of the best experiences ever. I hope I can go on one soon again.

Narrative Essay Number Seven

          Have you ever heard about the myth of the warrior Ike? If not, let me tell it to you. Ike lives in a country named Canaista. And when their enemies tried to take over he was there to help defend. He was a big help due to his unusual powerful strength and skilled fighting abilities.

          When Ike was born his parents abandoned him. His parents didn't want him because he was born with a muscular body. His parents were good friends to the King, and didn't want the king to know of Ike. So they threw Ike into the forest.

          In the forest Ike learned to fight by defending himself from wild animals. Every time Ike fights he yells out a wolf cry. He learned how to make weapons out of nature. Then one day he decided to go out into the village. That was when he got into a fight with an escaped prisoner. When the king saw his strength, he decided to make him a knight.

          Days later, the enemies decided to take over. The king sent his army out to defend, but decided not to send Ike. When the enemies were destroying Canaistas army, the king finally decided to send Ike. Ike went out and destroyed every enemy in his path that the enemies didn't know what to do, but leave. When the got back to the village everyone was admiring Ike. They all started chanting is name. The king gave him special care. He was like a father to Ike. He gave him armor, weapons, and a home. The king especially admired his loyalty to his country. He became a hero to Canaista.

          At the end, Ike became king after the king passed away. He took care of Canaista, defended it from enemies and creature from beyond. The people loved Ike, and were devastated when Ike became old and died. The enemies took over Canaista was destroyed. Myth has it that Canaista is now North America, and that you could still hear Ike's wolf cry today.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Narrative Essay Number Six

          Do you remember your first time going to Six Flags? I remember my first time like it was yesterday, I had a blast. I went with my best friends and I actually rode my first roller coaster! I was scared at first but I'm not anymore.


        I drove to Six Flags with my two friends there brother and mom. While we were in the car we were listening to music and singing along. We were sitting in the back seat and we were laughing so hard my friends always know who to make me laugh. They were telling me about all the fun I would have and all the roller coasters that are really fun. They said if I did not want to go on the ride they would "push" me on but they were kidding about actually pushing me on the ride but they were not going to let me chicken out.

          When we got there I was kinda scared to ride any of the rides. The roller coasters looked like they were all going really fast. I heard screaming and laughing on the rides around me. My friends said don't worry roller coasters are really fun they told me and we got in line for are first ride we were going to ride.

          My first roller coaster was really fun. The name of my first roller coaster was Superman. It was read and blue and makes you feel like you are flying its really cool. It was really fast but not scary. When the ride was over we got off I loved it I could not wait to ride another roller coaster so we went to ride another one.


        I went to the movies with my friends we went to see Charlie St. Cloud. Then on are way home they asked if I just wanted to go to Six Flags in the morning I said sure. So we had a sleepover and left in the morning to go to Six Flags. I was scared at first but they told me to face my fears and that I would love it. My first ride they "pushed me on" was Superman I was kinda scared I could not figure out how to buckle the seat belt so one of my friends had to help me it was hilarious. When I got of I wanted to ride another roller coaster all of the ones we rode were so much fun I faced my fears but we did not ride any wooden ones because I was scared of those. But when we go again over the summer they said there were going to "push" me on the wooden ones. I can't wait till we go again!

Narrative Essay Number Five

          Have you ever been to the beach? Do you remember the first time you went to the beach? Well I do. The first time I went to the beach was fun.

          I woke up and ate breakfast. I went in my room and looked for my swimsuit and the other things I needed to get ready. I found my swimsuit and got dressed. I waited for everyone else to get ready. While I waited I watched television. Then everyone was ready so we got in the car and left.

          My family and I are in the car going to the beach. While I was in the car I listened to music and played games. I also slept for a little while because I was tired. Then I woke up and had to put everything away because we were getting out of the car. I put the seat down so my brother could get out of the car.

         At the beach I stepped on the hot sand. I can feel the cool ocean breeze on my body. I got out my towel and laid it down on the sand so I could rest on it. Before I relaxed, I had my mom put sun block on me to not get a sun burn. Then I relaxed and then my sister put on the radio and I heard some songs that I liked.

          I got ino the water and swam a little with my brother. After that my brother and I dug a hole in the sand and built a sand castle and collected some seashells to take home. THen we finished and took some pictures. Then I got tired from all the playing so I laid on my towel and fell asleep for a while. Then I woke up and got ready to go home. The first day at the beach was really fun and the best day ever.

Narrative Essay Number Four

          Have you ever spent a day back in time, let's say about oh....30,000,000 years!! Read on to experience the day I was with the dinosaurs.

          It was the day I woke up. I look through my window and the sun warms my face. I put my feet out of my bed and I realize that it is covered with grass. I dash out of my room to find my parents and mysteriously there not there. And then out of nowhere I'm standing face to face with a triceratops. I couldn't believe it!! This was my favorite dinosaur!! Weirdly, he shows no sign of threats to me and then I notice a saddle on his back and he gestures me to get on.

          And when I was on him he showed me around where he lives, I was in paradise. I spotted a HUGE waterfall and he and I played there the whole day. (With a waterslide.) WE also played tag and hide and go seek. When the day was over, he brought me over to my bed and we exchanged gifts, and we said our goodbyes and we promised we will see each other soon.

          Then I woke up, mad at the fact that it was just a dream. I told all my friends, my parents, and my stuffed tiger named Hobbes. My parents and Hobbs were happy that I had fun, but my friends thought I was a nut. i hope that you enjoyed Calvin's day with his very own triceratops.

Narrative Essay Number Three

          Hi my name is Jill and I would like to tell you a story that happened two years ago. I was reading my book of fairy tales when I was supposed to be helping Jack to get a pail of water. I was sent to my room because I did not help Jack who apparently broke his crown falling down the hill, and this is the second time it happened.

         When I was in my room I said, "I wish I could be in a fairy tale". Then the mirror on the wall said I can, and so I went through a portal and I ended up in a different world called "Fairy Port". This world was full of magic and characters you would not find in everyday life.

          I met so many interesting, magical, nice, and wicked people. I also had quite an adventurous time while I was there. I am also a heroin because I saved my world and the magical world from an evil and vicious Jabberwocky, but no one from my world knows that. But after a couple of days I had to go back home. When I finally returned home I had apparently been only gone for two minutes.

         I had a great time in "Fairy Port" and I cannot wait to go back for some more fun and more adventures! I hope to talk to you again about more of my exciting adventures! See you soon!

Monday, April 2, 2012

Narrative Essay Number Two

          Have you been put done because you are too young or not good enough? Well, has that made you more determine to do something? I have and boy was it a journey.
          My team, the Niles Rangers, started off the season losing five games in the row. Our record half way through the season was 4-8. We had to win at least ten games to make it to the play offs. We won nine games but lose the two games we could. But it took the last game to clarify who will make it to the playoffs. It took unitl the last minute in the game to get the first goal which I scored. We made it to the playoffs as the eighth seed but we will be taking on the number one seed.
          The first game of the playoffs went into overtime when I scored the last goal and was the biggest upset of the playoffs. We had to face the number four seed and number two seed. We played the semifinals against the number three seed. It was a great game and somehow the worst team in the playoffs made it to the championship. We won all the games on the road to get to the championships just barely with every game being within one goal.
          The Championship game was versus the best team in the state. My team was very nervous and my team started the game like we started the season. Then after the first period the score was 4-0. My coach gave the "Miracle" speech which got people pumped up. We came out and got three goals in the second and third periods. With one minute to go we pulled our goal with me in the penalty box. There was five seconds left when I got out and suddenly I got a pass. With 1.8 seconds left I shot and just got it in between the goalie's blocker and the goal post. We went into a triple shot out and won championship.
          What I think got my team to win is determination. Everyone said we would lose and we weren't good enough. I loved to be underdogs and to prove that anybody can do anything if they set their mind to it. Boy did we show them.

Narrative Essay Number One

When was your first time at six flags? Mine was October 7, 2011 and it was pretty fun. What did you do? Well I got chased by zombies. In this essay I'm going to tell you about my first time at six flags.

I was at chalk walk and *** and *** were talking about how scary six flags were during freight fest, I said it sounded like fun. Then they said there going today want to come and that's how I got invited. I went to my car and surprisingly my dad said yes! So later that dad I drove with Erin to six flags. We were meeting up with *** later.

When *** and I were waiting we decided to ride the Viper. I was kind of nervous on line and kept on thinking what if it breaks. When we were going to the top I thought to my self oh this won't be too bad well I was wrong. At one point I thought the roller coaster broke! My first roller coaster the Viper was a pretty fun one and I will never forget it.

When *** finally got there we made are way to the trials. We walked through it a few times and no one came up to us (luckily), until *** started to scream then *** and I said stop *** they come when you scream. That's exactly what happened this zombie cop went up to *** and started to chase her. *** and I thought it was hilarious. Later in the trail there was a line of Halloween decorations but one of them was real, when to one popped out I got so scared I pushed ***'s mo right into it.

After the trial we had to walk through the clown section. *** and *** were so scared they wouldn't come; it took 10 minutes to just get them in! When we were in this random kid decided to hide and pop out at people, when I was walking the kid popped out I almost peed myself. The clowns never went by ***'s little sister so when ever a clown was near I hid be hind her.

That was my first time at six flags. I had a great time getting scared with *** and ***. I hope my next time is just as fun.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Favorite poem/poet

This next post is about poetry. I would like you to do some research on famous poets of all generations and their most famous poems. Look at several different poets and types of poetry. Comment on this post about the different poets you research and the types of poetry. What poets did you like the most? What kinds of poetry did you most enjoy? After writing your comment, I would like you to copy and paste a link leading to a poem you found that you liked and a short explanation of what you liked about it. This is a more detailed post than the first couple we have done. Your comment should be at least 10 lines in length and include a link stamp. This post will not be due until Wednesday, February 1st.

Happy Catholic Schools Week!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Optimism and Zeal

Chapter 3 talks about living lives with optimism and zeal, just like St. Paul the Apostle did. Do you think you tend to be an optimistic and zealous person when it comes to your faith? Or do you think this is an area you could work on? What do you think it means to live your faith with optimism and zeal, realistically. What I mean is, what are some things you can and will actually do as a 12/13 year old living in Chicago to live your faith with more optimism and zeal?

A reminder, you need to make sure you are using correct grammar, punctuation and spelling to the best of your ability. Many of you are writing without capitalization and using run on sentences. Many of you are repeating your thoughts just to fulfill the sentence requirements or make your comment look larger. You are graded on content, not just length. These responses should be 5-7 sentences in length.

Enjoy your weekend and I will see you all Monday.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Patriot or Loyalist???

Hello Fellow Colonists!

I would like you to post your position on the war as if you are a colonists in 1775. Take into consideration Life Meeker's point of view and Sam Meeker's point of view. Whom do you agree with based on the ideas they have presented in the novel thus far? Please give examples/evidence of why you agree with that person. Your comment should be 3-4 sentences in length.

Friday, January 6, 2012

My Brother Sam Is Dead

Happy weekend 304!

I want you to post a comment that tells what your thoughts are about the novel we are beginning Monday. Are you looking forward to reading it? Have you read a lot of historical fiction? What are you thinking the book is about? You do not have to just answer these questions, they were just a starting point to get your minds thinking. Your comments should be a few sentences and show thought and effort.

See you all Monday!

Ms. Campbell

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Trial and Error

Hello 304!

Congrats for signing in. I would like you to email me your name and your blog name if you are already signed in. Also, create a post that explains how you got yourself logged onto the blog to help anyone who might be having trouble like Noah and I did in class today.

Thanks!

Ms. Campbell