Thursday, April 5, 2012

Narrative Essay Number Eight

Have you ever been in the middle of the ocean on a cruise ship, where you have seen fireworks? Or have you been swimming with a chance of being eaten? Well I have, and this is how it happened!

          It all started when I was waiting in line to get my Disney Dream Cruise pass to show I paid. It seemed for what took hours because I was so excited. I finally got my pass and had to wait in another line to take a family photo. We were next, standing in front of the camera. We all smiled but my brother. He smiled the retry of the photo, but half my family's eyes were closed. Finally on the last retake it was a perfect picture that deserved to be hung up on the wall. As we walked away from the picture stand we were walking on the gangplank to board the ship. I was really excited because it was my first cruise every being on. What I saw on this ship, made my dreams come true. It was everything I wanted; a pool area with a slide that went around the whole ship and out of the water. I took a tour also of the bottom of the ship, but it was nothing but cabins. My cabin had 3 beds, one for me, one for my brother, and one for my parents. The cabin its self was nothing spectacular. It didn't even have a porthole.

          Even though my cabin wasn't impressive, that was okay because I didn't stay in it too much, considering all the great things to do there. The first thing I did was go to the all you can eat buffet and at some crab. It was delicious. My brother and I were one of the first people to go on the slide that went around the ship. It was awesome because it went out over the ocean and there was some dark areas in the tube and it produced a laser show. Every night I would go see a Disney play or go see a comedian with the dummies. It was quite amusing and entertaining. On my last day was amazing because I saw fireworks being shot off on the deck on the Disney Dreams Cruise ship's deck. I never thought it was possible to do that, but it proved me wrong.

          Besides the activities on the boat, I went to two places, Castawy Key, and island owned by Disney, and the Bahamas. What I did at castaway key was go swimming in water that had a possible risk of having sharks, barracudas, jellyfish, and eels. That didn't stop me though. I rented a tube and just floated along in the ocean minding my own business and being relaxed, until my brother comes unexpectedly and slips me off the tube. It was refreshing the water. My uncle rented me snorkeling gear and I snorkeled with the fish by myself. I never thought fish can be so colorful. My next trip was the Bahamas, which I went Jet skiing in the Atlantic. Dad and I went, and he knows I am not afraid to fall off so he tried to fling me off by doing a lot of tricks with the Jet Ski a mile out. I was nervous because I didn't want to fall so I held on for dear life. I was afraid that a shark or something would eat me if I fell out. After that I swam in the shallow part of the ocean with my brother and cousin. We played with the waves allowing it to drag us out and bringing us back to the ocean. The water was crystal clear.

          Who knew that your first cruise would be so much fun and exciting? Well I did and I guessed right. It was one of the best experiences ever. I hope I can go on one soon again.

14 comments:

  1. I like how the first sentence gets your attention.

    You should balance your paragraphs out more

    great narrative

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  2. It was a good narrative it makes me want to go on a cruise right now.

    I didnt find any spelling mistakes.

    It sounded like fun.

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  3. In the third paragraph you said and at some crab instead of and ate some crab.

    In the fourth paragraph you said and island instead of an island.

    I liked that your essay was very detailed.

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    Replies
    1. In the third paragraph, you should have used the word three, not the number. Other than that, I thought this was a great experience to share.

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  4. very detailed
    nice job
    just a couple of grammar mistakes

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  5. I love this essy.

    I like the detail put into this.

    Make sure to watch spelling and Grammer but overall very good essy.

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  6. Very good essy

    I loved the detail you gave!!

    Watch you're speling

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  7. The first sentence confuses and doesnt make sense to me, I think that in the second paragraph and second sentence you should put "to take" instead of "what took", and in the second paragraph ninth sentence you should put "ever" instead of "every".

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  9. I don't really understand the first sentence
    In the third paragraph you put "at" but I think you meant ate
    I like this esssay it was very intresting

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  10. This essay sounds exciting.

    Watch your spelling mistakes though.

    This story makes me want to go on a cruise.

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  11. In paragraph three you spelled "at crab" but i think it should be "ate crab." I think you should have made your conclusion longer as well as your introduction due to your length in the other paragraphs. I loved your detail.

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  12. Watch out for spelling

    sounds awesome

    It makes me want to go on a cruse

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  13. Check your spelling and punctuation... but I did enjoy your Topic/outline.

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