Have you ever heard about the myth of the warrior Ike? If not, let me tell it to you. Ike lives in a country named Canaista. And when their enemies tried to take over he was there to help defend. He was a big help due to his unusual powerful strength and skilled fighting abilities.
When Ike was born his parents abandoned him. His parents didn't want him because he was born with a muscular body. His parents were good friends to the King, and didn't want the king to know of Ike. So they threw Ike into the forest.
In the forest Ike learned to fight by defending himself from wild animals. Every time Ike fights he yells out a wolf cry. He learned how to make weapons out of nature. Then one day he decided to go out into the village. That was when he got into a fight with an escaped prisoner. When the king saw his strength, he decided to make him a knight.
Days later, the enemies decided to take over. The king sent his army out to defend, but decided not to send Ike. When the enemies were destroying Canaistas army, the king finally decided to send Ike. Ike went out and destroyed every enemy in his path that the enemies didn't know what to do, but leave. When the got back to the village everyone was admiring Ike. They all started chanting is name. The king gave him special care. He was like a father to Ike. He gave him armor, weapons, and a home. The king especially admired his loyalty to his country. He became a hero to Canaista.
At the end, Ike became king after the king passed away. He took care of Canaista, defended it from enemies and creature from beyond. The people loved Ike, and were devastated when Ike became old and died. The enemies took over Canaista was destroyed. Myth has it that Canaista is now North America, and that you could still hear Ike's wolf cry today.
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ReplyDeleteI like the fantasy touch to it
ReplyDeleteI think it needs more detail
Great narrative but use some synonyms
I really liked this narrative.
ReplyDeleteThere is only one thing i would change: in the first paragraph I think you shouldnt talk about Ike (where he is from, his fighting skills ect.)You should save that for the rest of the story.
make sure you reread you essay but over all it is fantasic!!!!!
This was very good
ReplyDeleteI found no mistakes
It had a good flow to the story
I like this story it was really creative.
ReplyDeleteI could tell that you took your time to do this narrative.
No spelling mistakes.
I loved this story. I would have liked to kinda have a prolouge though.... but other than that i would have loved to see this into a book, or even a series.
ReplyDeleteThe second paragraph makes no sense at all why would they abandon him because he strong, in the fourth paragraph fourth sentence doesn't make sense, and in the last paragraph second sentence add an "s" to creatures.
ReplyDeleteIn the second line of the fourth paragraph you forgot the apostrophe in Canaista's.
ReplyDeleteIn the fourth line of the fourth paragraph you put the instead of they.
In the fifth line of the fourth paragraph you put is instead of his.
i enjoyed the fantasy touch
ReplyDeletecouple of grammar mistakes in the fourth paragraph
very nice narrative
I liked this essy alot and how it has fantasy to it.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like you did goood on remembering grammer.
I like how you started with a question.
I liked how this essay is a fantasy
ReplyDeleteI liked the begining
Good gammar
I liked the fourth and fifth paragraph but the others were not as exciting.
ReplyDeleteYou should add more detail on when Ike was a baby.
The story is very interesting.
This narrative is well written and i loved it. I like how you took the legend of ike and made it your own. One thing i would change is when you described him in the beginning dont tell about his capabilities yet.... you should save them until he is in a time of need.
ReplyDeleteGreat topic/outline check spelling and punctuation otherwise its good.
ReplyDelete