Have you been put done because you are too young or not good enough? Well, has that made you more determine to do something? I have and boy was it a journey.
My team, the Niles Rangers, started off the season losing five games in the row. Our record half way through the season was 4-8. We had to win at least ten games to make it to the play offs. We won nine games but lose the two games we could. But it took the last game to clarify who will make it to the playoffs. It took unitl the last minute in the game to get the first goal which I scored. We made it to the playoffs as the eighth seed but we will be taking on the number one seed.
The first game of the playoffs went into overtime when I scored the last goal and was the biggest upset of the playoffs. We had to face the number four seed and number two seed. We played the semifinals against the number three seed. It was a great game and somehow the worst team in the playoffs made it to the championship. We won all the games on the road to get to the championships just barely with every game being within one goal.
The Championship game was versus the best team in the state. My team was very nervous and my team started the game like we started the season. Then after the first period the score was 4-0. My coach gave the "Miracle" speech which got people pumped up. We came out and got three goals in the second and third periods. With one minute to go we pulled our goal with me in the penalty box. There was five seconds left when I got out and suddenly I got a pass. With 1.8 seconds left I shot and just got it in between the goalie's blocker and the goal post. We went into a triple shot out and won championship.
What I think got my team to win is determination. Everyone said we would lose and we weren't good enough. I loved to be underdogs and to prove that anybody can do anything if they set their mind to it. Boy did we show them.
Do you mean down in the first sentence because it doesn't make sense
ReplyDeleteI like the insperation you put twords this narrative
I like how it was very sad that your team was losing and you scored the tying goal
I really like how you and your team have a lot of determination about winning your game.
ReplyDeleteFor the first paraghraph try making it sound more clearer because it sounds all jumbled toghether.
I like how in the last paragraph you said determination made you win,baecause that tells me how your attitude was toward the game.
I liked your essy but I did not understand your first sentence it would be good to make it so the readers underatand it more.
ReplyDeleteYou did good with remembering spelling and punctuation.
I enjoyed reading your essy at first you made it sadish than you ended it with your team winning I like how you did that and how you worded everything.
Did you mean down becuse that made no sence.
ReplyDeleteOuther then that eror your spelling was good.
This was very interesting! I was into the story from the first sentence.
This passage is won of the best i have ever read.
ReplyDeleteI loved how sad it was and then got better.
Need to make the first paragraph clearer.
you should check your spelling and grammmer like in the first sentence you put done when you probably ment "down"
ReplyDeleteI thought the essay was intresting
I like how you said your coach gave your team the "miracle" speech because it gives more detail
This essay was a really good. The way how you said how badly your team was devastated.....
ReplyDeleteYour team must have been pretty mad to lose like that. I mean its never happened to me but I can imagine it being pretty painful.
ReplyDeleteI liked your essay.
ReplyDeleteI didnt get the first sentence, what does put done mean.
Good spelling.
I liked the way you described it as the "miricle" speech
ReplyDeleteI didn't really understand the part with the seeds
The thing I liked the most was the last paragraph because you described it so well i could actually picture it.
Hey kid, good work. There was one noticable spelling mistake, "done." It was probally supposed to be down. I like your story all the way through. At times it got rough and sometimes things didnt make sense and were like jumbled together. Great work though.
ReplyDeletenice job i thought it was pretty good
ReplyDeletecould use some fixing up
there was some spelling mistakes, you should reread it
In the second paragraph in the fourth sentence "lose" instead of "lost", in the third paragraph in the first sentence you should put "it" in front of the "was", and in the fourth paragraph in the last sentence you should write "shoot" not "shot" and and in front of "won" you should put "we".
ReplyDeleteIn the second paragraph you said 5 games in the row instead of in a row.
ReplyDeleteIn the second paragraph you said you lose the 2 games instead of lost the 2 games.
In the second paragraph you spelled playoffs as two words.
I liked this topic and I think it was totally long enough, and I know how you feel about it I was the youngest yet one of the best on my baseball team but they wouldn't let me play shortstop.
ReplyDelete